Monday, October 26, 2009

The Men of our Dreams

My mother suggested I read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I started it and she’s right—as always—I love it. Some of the thoughts and quotes in this novel are timeless, but one in particular almost made me drop the book in a moment of self-realization.
“I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true.”

Oh boy. Juliet summed up my dating dilemmas in two sentences. What if I’m turning away perfectly good suitors because they don’t live up to the high standards my fictitious crushes have set? My passion for great love stories will result in me never having my own. What a twisted trick of fate that would be.

The 3 dream men of my life are amazing. They set a very high bar.

1.) REID ROSENTHAL (From The Bachelorette) – He takes the number one spot because he makes me laugh. He’s got a sense of humor that I adore, and a smile that’s contagious. His soulful eyes, family values, and playful (yet kind of shy) demeanor makes me melt. I could list 88 other reasons why I find him gorgeous (inside and out) but then we start crossing into the stalker realm. I’m sure he has enough of those.
2.) MICHAEL BUBLE (Singer)- Another real life guy (kind of). I don’t follow tabloid gossip, so don’t tell me if he’s not as perfect and old-fashionably romantic as I imagine him to be. We have a starry-eyed love affair through his songs (he writes all of them for me you know). I’m sure we’d dance around to Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald music while agreeing that no matter how fast-paced and lacking-in-morals the world is, we will always make time for, and stay true to each other, until the end of time.
3.) SETH MORGAN- Okay, he’s a character in the novel Wicked Lovely, but who cares? He’s a smart, sexy, readaholic who is just the right balance of sensitive and bad ass. He’s faithfully devoted to his girl (which of course is me—not Aislinn) and he stays and fights for love even when times get tough, dangerous, and seemingly impossible. His pet snake freaks me out a bit, but I am willing to accept a few quirks and flaws. That comes with any relationship.

Everyone is flawed. I’m okay with that. I certainly have flaws. My characters are flawed. Boringly perfect is, well, boring. I don’t want perfect. I want perfect for me. The problem is, perfect for me has become a delicate blend of Reid, Michael, and Seth.

Now here’s the problem with my crushes (besides the obvious never-gonna-happen part). They are only perfect in my mind. Reid and Michael may exist in real life BUT their fame has probably inflated their ego to a size so astronomic it would never fit in my quaint little universe. I don’t like cocky, and with that many fans, I’m sure it’s next to impossible to not be cocky. Plus, who knows if Reid was being Real Reid while cameras followed him around 24-7. And Michael is used to red carpets and sold out shows. Would he ever be happy with movie nights on the couch eating ice cream together? Um, no, probably not.

Watching my crushes on TV, listening to them on my Ipod, or reading about them in a book is not helping me achieve my dream of finding my soul mate. It’s not like Seth is going to cross a magical portal and spring to life from the pages of my books.

(I just had flashbacks of that 80’s A-ha video for Take On Me. I LOVED that video as a kid. Wow, maybe my fictitious crush issues run deeper than I thought.)

Anywho, how can three men I've never met leave me all warm and tingly? And why can’t the men I go on dates with ever make me feel that way?

I don’t know how the Guernsey story ends yet. I’m hoping it’s something like... the pen pal letters from Dawsey evolve into love letters, Juliet goes to Gurnsey to meet him in person, their worlds collide; resulting in fireworks, magical kisses, late nights, comfortable silence, lots of laughter, and a happily ever after. Wait. What a coincidence, that’s how I want MY story to unfold too. (Seriously, I’m placing the blame for my fairytale syndrome on A-ha. That’s gotta be where all this stems from.)

Please tell me I’m not alone. Who are your fictitious or never-gonna-happen crushes? And why do you love them so much?


  1. Sigh. I'm right there with you.

    Fictitious crushes - Alex from Perfect Chemistry and Gale & Peeta from Hunger Games. Loves them.

    Fake crushes are safe. They allow us to explore our own romantic side without any fear of getting hurt or being vulnerable. Plus, they often allow us to get an honest and open look inside the male character's head. We get to know what they're thinking without asking, or without windering if they're being honest or hiding something. Again, making them safe.

    I always think of the movie Sleepless in Seattle when Rosie ODonnell says to Meg Ryan, you don't want to fall in love, you want to fall in love in a movie.

  2. Ah Meg, I almost used that EXACT quote in this post, but I was worried it was already too long. Yes, I want to be in love in a movie--or a book, I"m not picky. ;)

  3. Maybe that's why we're writers? We basically get to write ourselves into hot and fictitious romances through our characters. I've found myself blushing before while writing kissing scenes :)

  4. I've banned all ficticious crushes from my mind... LOL Not really, but I try not to think too much of them because I'm a married woman. LOL
    Great post! You're right, it's easy to fall for guys that aren't right in front of us. Good luck with all this! :-)

  5. You are too cute Karen (and Megan). Don't worry your man is out there somewhere. You just might have to settle for an awesome guy WITHOUT an English accent :)

    And I loved THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY. Fantastic book (and yes, it is romantic).

  6. Did I spell ficticious wrong? Is it fictitious? Heeeheee, whoops.

  7. I had a huge crush on the girl in the video.

    Anyone know what happened to her?

  8. That could be quite the dilema. I think everyone feels that way once in awhile though. I try to keep in mind that most of the tv/book men I have crushes on...have been created by women. Thus, most likely, will never exist. LOL

  9. It's so easy to get caught up in our star crushes. For years, I looked for my own personal Johnny Depp. Never found him. Not anything close. I still have a huge crush on him, but I'm married. I guess my hubby will have to do. :)

  10. Had my share of literary and big-screen crushes--and they sure are fun, no strings or messy life stuff attached!
    Have you seen the DVD Lost in Austen? It is so much fun and romantic. It's about a modern woman who adores Darcy in Pride and Prejudice and finds herself suddenly in the story.

  11. Oh yes, I'm with you! Even though I love my husband more than life itself, pretty much every time I read a book I'm crushing on the main hero :)

  12. You're definitely not alone, Karen. Even though I'm journeying truly, madly, deeply, with my dear Mr Fenwick, I'm constantly falling in love with fictional characters (my own and others) as well as real untouchables (usually rock stars!). ;-)

    Much love to you, dear one, and thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and encouragement. You're an inspiration! xx

  13. Well, I'll admit that I fall in love with the 'pretend' people I read about daily. :)

  14. Darcy, as played by Colin Firth in the A&E Pride & Prejudice mini-series. I always wanted to find a man who would look at me the way Darcy looks at Lizzy in that scene where they're having dinner at Pemberly. It took me years to find him. He even has an accent! It's Australian, though. Not English. Whatever. It still makes me melt!

  15. hahaha!! I SO agree with you! I'm married, but I can tell you my husband (whom I love with all my heart) gets REALLY tired of hearing my none too subtle hints about different awesome qualities and romantic ideas from my own fictitious crushes...

    And don't worry about the lack of tingles from the dates you've been on recently. That's the whole point. You'll feel them when you find the right one :)

  16. PS I forgot to mention... the crush I have on Ryan Reynolds has lead to many a head shake from my husband... Both his fictional characters (um, hello? Van Wilder, Blade, Smokin' Aces, Definitely Maybe?) and the Ryan Reynolds in real life.

    Excuse me, I need to go take a cold shower now.

  17. I used to be head over heels with Brad Pitt. The funny thing is my fiance has Brad's eyes and charisma, but of course, not the fortune! :D
    I know Reid, he was my pick too, seemed so genuine. And Michael, well the closest he's gonna get is his music on my blog.

    Karen, soulmates are a once in a lifetime thing, (I was blessed to find it 2x- see my post on Finding Each Other one Last time). It seems to me you can dream all you want b/c when the time is right and your heart is open, the right one will come along.
    You're not picky, you're just selective. :)

  18. Too funny :)

    That was a good read. A little slow to get into, but still worthwhile.

  19. Awesome Post.
    I'm married, but I still have tons of fictitious crushes! One on my soap, Days of our Lives- in case anyone watches. EJ Dimera. Holy cow- hello!

    I love an accent, and in fact I made my MC's love interest British for that reason. Let's see Ewan McGregor, RPattz, Jude Law, Hmmm from books. Ranger from the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich!

    In real life though- I chose to marry an accountant who got my humor and supports me, is nice to my family, cooks and cleans :) Those are the things that really matter to me. You'll find that someday too. He has flaws (many- as do I) but they pale in comparison to the great things he has :)

  20. Before I met my husband I used to think, wow, wouldn't dating be so much easier if our social lives were as simple as spending the evening playing cards while the men retired to the salon to have a drink and smoke a cigar. Communications would be simple and forthright, delivered in a sealed envelope later that day. Sigh - I did end up marrying a blue-eyed Brit with a lovely accent, so I suppose I'm kind of living out my fantasy. - G
    PS - Michael Buble really is sweet and dreamy in person. We grew up in the same "town". He's always out and about and he does a lot of charity work too.

  21. Georgina, that's just mean. No need to rub it in that you have a hubby with a British accent AND that Michael is even better than I imagined. ;)

  22. Karen, this post is spectacular. Such an open and enjoyable read, plus a very interesting topic of discussion.

    So... absurd crushes... hmm... Johnny Depp, of course. Also, the exquisite fictional character Skulduggery Pleasant. That is probably a bit disturbing, because he is actually a skeleton, but he is cool, smart, funny, caring, thoughtful (and he does magic!). There have been many times when I have found myself imagining what he was like when he was alive...

  23. I just made you a buddy on NaNoWriMo. My username there is "sleuthwood." It's my first time and, um, scary.

  24. Hello again, Karen. :) I am passing on my award to you. Please have a look on my blog to accept the award:


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