Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Happy Barry Lyga Rocks Day!

The fabulous Sara, Carolina, and Alexandra are hosting Stalk Barry--er, I mean, Barry Lyga Rocks Day. Write him a letter and if yours is better than mine (dont bet on it) you'll win a badass Barry book.

Without further ado, my letter to Mr. Lyga...

My Dearest Barry,

I haven’t read any of your books.

Sorry about that, but I thought we should start our relationship with brutal honesty. I mean, you write about superheroes and comic bookish stuff. I figured you could handle brutal honesty.

I have done some level 2 stalking of you via your website. Don’t worry; level 2 is not an insult. It just means I’m emotionally stable and not the type of person to stalk anyone at a level higher than 3. (Level 10 is scary restraining order type stuff and the only person I could picture myself being that obsessed with is James Howlett (aka Logan), but since he’s a fictitious character I’m sticking to my guns on the emotionally stable proclamation.)


As you may have guessed I was intrigued by your novel WOLVERINE: WORST DAY EVER. However, Sara, Carolina, and Alexandra aren’t giving away that book in their Barry Rocks contest. (Sometimes I question their loyalty as X-Men fans but whatever. They’re beautiful girls inside and out so I let them get away with stuff like that.)

Andbutso, I started reading up on some of your other books. I am now determined to win one. I’d prefer to win all of them but I worry that if I read all of your books I’d become a diehard fan and start foaming at the mouth for more. Reviewers say your stuff is witty and snappy, serious and absorbing, authentic, fast-moving, and—well, you probably already know what they’ve said. If your stories are truly that great then I could easily cross into a level 6 or 7 zone. Add to the equation the fact that you’re pretty darn attractive and we’re bordering on level 8. Level 8 stalking might put a damper on our newfound relationship.

However, I’m dedicated to making this relationship work. When I’m dedicated to something I’m unstoppable. Like, superhero (or sultry villain) unstoppable.

For example, I’ve already contacted your old college roommate Alex and he agreed to create a mechanized bulletproof exoskeleton flight suit that will allow me to fly to your big city so I can demand any and all of your books whenever I want.

I don’t want it to come to that. I like you, Barry. Sara and Carolina have told me wonderful things about you. I’d rather not have to use my special suit and start demanding things of you.

Just give me a book as a prize and you and I can remain at a cordial and comfortable level 2.

Seriously, just award me a book. It’s the right (and safe) thing to do.

Oh, and Happy Barry Rocks Day!

With all my love,


(PS: I sprayed this letter with perfume and sealed it with a blood red lipstick kiss. Hope you can smell me and visualize my lips on your side of the computer screen.)


Disclaimer: No authors, their respected girlfriends, or their college roommates were actually threatened or harmed during the making of this letter. I just have way too much free time.


  1. o

    hahahahaha the entire thing is hysterical, and the picture? MADE OF AWESOME =) You definitely rocked Barry Lyga Rocks!! Day <3

    Can we be sultry villains together?


  2. Very funny! I haven't read any of his books, either.

  3. I'm going to have to do check this Barry Lyga out. All the good writers I know seem to have a crush on him! - G

  4. You certainly do not disappoint! I hope that Barry is smart and has safely handed over the book without question, I wouldn't want an unstoppable force headed my way, I think a comfortable 2 is safe and sound!

    Brilliant letter... brilliant I say! Give her the book BARRY!

  5. OH Wow. You totally rocked the Barry Lyga Rocks Day! Your letter was 5 levels of awesome! *sniffs* And I think I can actually smell your perfume here...

  6. Sara, of course we can be villains together. You can be my partner in crime any day! Just keep in mind my super suit will always be better than yours. It's just a fact of life.

    Thanks for the compliments gals! :)

  7. I hereby offer my official permission for you to stalk me when I'm published. Could we keep it to around level 5, though? I'll placate you with books, I promise. No need for any Misery-type action, okay? Okay. Glad we've got that sorted.

    P.S. The combination of "sultry" and "villains" makes me happy, Sara. Shouldn't it be "villainesses," though? Just sayin'.

  8. *dies laughing*

    Okay, see, this is the REAL reason why I haven't been blog hopping (all those 'busy with WriteOnCon excuses are just fluff") It's that your posts blow mine out of the water and kind of make me feel like I need to give up blogging.


    LOVE it!

    PS: Will try to be a better friend. Love, love, LOVE your blog. *air kisses*

  9. Omg that was REALLY funny. And as for X-Men, well, I'm a Gambit fan, but only when he's being played by Taylor Kitsch (who is my future husband--he just doesn't know it yet.)

  10. I would never try to challenge this letter. IT IS AWESOME.

  11. This letter is fantastic. Fantastic. I think my appreciation for Barry just sky-rocketed. I think my appreciation for you and your blog followed suit.

    Karen you are absolutely hilarious. Seriously. Would you like to give me some of your wit? I would appreciate it!

  12. This letter is fantastic. Fantastic. I think my appreciation for Barry just sky-rocketed. I think my appreciation for you and your blog followed suit.

    Karen you are absolutely hilarious. Seriously. Would you like to give me some of your wit? I would appreciate it!

  13. Hahaa! Well, I have no clue who this guy is but your letter ROCKS! :-)

    Thanks for your sweet offer on the hotel room at RWA. I wish so bad I could go but it looks like I won't make it. :-(
    I hope you post about how amazing it is!

  14. OMG, best love letter EVER. I'm in awe. And a little jealous of your picture. And, you know, that's kind of weird since I do have my own Barry pic. So, yeah. AWEsome!

  15. Deer Karen, I am so sorry that I haven't commented on your blog for such a long time. I will not neglect it any longer, my lovely. x

  16. Very funny. I've seen no other letters, but this one's a winner.

    Good luck! :)

  17. That was great! Barry is so lucky to have you as a level 2 stalker!

  18. I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blog and check it out. God's blessings too you. Lloyd

  19. Dear Karen,

    We've never met. I don't know you. That said, I don't know if I like you, as this entry made me feel witless and bland. Thanks for it anyway. I'm sure I'll recover from my confidence slump shortly--possibly after eating some fancy, overpriced chocolate.


  20. This letter is so cute. And I love your levels of stalkiness.

  21. How amazing and brillant!!!
    good luck!


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