MY LIFE MAKES GOOD FICTION

I never realized how craptastically cool my life has been until I started writing this post. A fiction writer with interesting stories to share. Who woulda thunk it?

This all started because Mireyah Wolfe gave me the "Creative Writer" award. Thanks Mireyah! I'm supposed to list 6 lies and 1 truth about myself.
But then, Keri Payton gave me the "Sugar Doll" award. Cheers Mate!
For this one, I'm supposed to share 10 things about myself that you may not know.

Since I'm a rule breaker, I am doing a mash-up of the two. I'm sharing 10 things about myself and only ONE of them is a lie. (Warning: This is long, but very interesting--if I do so say so myself.)

1.) I write in all capital letters all the time. I’ve done it since I was a kid--way before all caps meant screaming over the computer. I’ve done it for so long that if and when I try to write in lowercase, it looks like the handwriting of a five-year-old. Throughout all my years of schooling only one teacher ever said anything to me about it. She asked me to “write properly” but after I handed in two papers of awful childlike penmanship she told me I could go back to all caps.

2) Aussies and Brits are like coffee and chocolate to me. Meaning, I love them and can’t get enough of them. Hence why I follow so many folks from across the pond and down under. Maybe it’s the accent, or the similar yet oh-so-different culture and lifestyle, but I’m convinced that one day I will live in both places for a significant amount of time. Ideally, I’d be the next Bachelorette. ABC could film the beginning half in England, the end half in Australia. All men would be from those two countries--except for Reid Rosenthal. (He was on the last Bachelorette but didn’t “win.” He would be the American exception and receive a VIP invitation from me.)

3.) Two years ago I took a day of workshop dance classes with Sonya Tayeh (choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance) While performing one of Sonya’s awesome contemporary pieces, she walked behind me right as I was swinging my arms and head up—rather powerfully—from a bent over position. I elbowed her. Hard. I elbowed a famous superstar choreographer. Horrified, I stopped dancing and grabbed her, making sure she was okay. She just smiled, clapped her hands with the music and said, “Awesome! More power next time.” Oh how I love that woman.

4.) My first skydive was tandem (attached to an instructor). My second jump was AFF. Meaning instructors jump with you but once you pull your chute you’re on your own. They attach a radio to your chest so they can talk you through the landing. Not one word was uttered over my radio, so I figured I must be doing well. Somehow--probably because the good karma gods felt they owed me one--

I landed perfectly. Dead center of the drop zone. The Aussie owner of the school (another reason I love Aussies) looked impressed when I landed beside her. We both looked stunned when my instructors came running up, ripped my radio from my chest, and found out there were no batteries in it.

5.) Many years ago when I lived in Colorado Springs, I was sitting with a friend in a restaurant. A woman came up to us and asked if we wanted to audition for a new reality TV show where partner teams would race around the world. A huge crew was filming and interviewing people right there in the restaurant. I laughed and said no thank you. I pictured racing 10k marathons against Ironman pros. I can barely run 20 yards. Little did I know I blew my chance to be on the first season of what ended up as one of my favorite shows, The Amazing Race.

6.) Right before I was supposed to take a vacation, I came down with the flu. I didn’t want to cancel my trip but I needed to get on an airplane and survive a day of traveling so I started taking Aleve to help with the body aches, fever, etc. When it didn’t help I took more. And more. I think I took 8 or so in a 24 hour period. (In my defense I thought it was like Tylenol and never read the label. I know—dumbass.) The next morning I woke up COVERED in the most hideous, inflamed, oddly-shaped hives you’ve ever seen on a human. I looked like an alien. I was in tears and thought my skin would never return to normal. Luckily, the hives went away, but I haven’t taken Aleve since.

7.) In high school, my keyboarding (aka typing) teacher was eating a bag of M&Ms and commented on how strange one of them looked. “They forgot to dye it,” she said. It was a gray M&M. I know because I saw it with my own eyes. (My station was two seats away from her desk.) A couple weeks later she found out M&Ms was having a "find the gray M&M and win a million dollars" contest. She had eaten one of the winning M&Ms. She called, she cried, she begged, but no. You had to have proof and the wrapper with the serial # from the winning bag. Poor, Mrs. Smith.

8.) During my bartending days one of my regular customers gave me a $20 bill to gamble with while I was in Vegas. He said I had to bet it all at once and I could only bet on #22 black at the roulette table (Casablanca, baby.) I’d never played roulette and I forgot about my promise during my few days with my girlfriends. Driving back to LA we stopped to eat at a ghetto looking casino miles out of Vegas. After we ate I remembered my promise, walked up to an empty roulette table and put down the $20. I won. $720 in one shot. Just like that. Still, to this day, it’s the only time I’ve played roulette.

9.) The first house I ever made an offer on was adorable. I fell in love the moment I walked through the door and made an offer. The sellers accepted, but due to a series of financing issues and repairs that needed to be done I ended up having to walk away from the deal. Less than 6 months later the house was practically leveled to the ground by a hurricane. The new owners were okay because they evacuated, but a lot of their stuff was lost or destroyed. And people wonder why “everything happens for a reason” is my life motto.

10.) I hit on Elliot Sadler (NASCAR Driver) at a Winston Cup Preview while he was signing autographs. We had taken a photo together months earlier at one of the races. I handed it to him and said, “Don’t we make a cute couple?” He said yes and flirty banter ensued. He took my phone number and called me that same night. (And many times after that). I was eighteen and still living at home back then and I remember my mom freaking out with excitement every time he called the house. Unfortunately, right around that time I moved to Colorado and our communication faded off shortly thereafter. Ah, Elliot, I do miss you.

See, not too shabby huh? And only ONE of those is a lie. Can you guess which one it is?

I'd like to pass along this award to a few people that I think should have more "followers". These people post some great stuff and it saddens me to think many of my blogging friends are missing out because they haven't discovered their blog yet. You all get both awards because I think the 9 facts and 1 lie is a fun version. Participate if you want, but don't feel obligated. I know this blog award stuff can take up a lot of time and we're all crazy busy as it is.) So, go check out the following folks...

Marie Devers
Georgina
Derek Whisman
Jessie Oliveros
Kelly Lyman
Just Another Sarah
Kasie West