I've Started Spiraling

Years ago I remember someone (can't remember who for the life of me) on a television show or movie saying, "Let's not start spiraling." They meant don't let this spiral downward into negativity or make this conversation worse. For some reason that line stuck with me and I've used it a few times when a friend or family member started going to an ugly place that I didn't feel needed visiting.

Newsflash! I've started spiraling. Actually I've been spiraling for a couple weeks now, but I'm really starting to feel the pull--and push--of this whirlwind and I've got to tell you, spiraling is not a bad thing.

My newest story goes to some dark places. Some of my characters say and do things I'd never even think of, but I wrote their scenes so obviously I DID think of them. When I go back and reread scenes I wrote last week my eyes bulge and I gasp a little as if I'm reading about this shocking behavior for the first time. I know I wrote it. I was there. It's not like I mentally checked out while I typed, but I'm still a little astounded at what I've created.

However, where there is darkness, light must eventually shine. Ah, the law of yin and yang. Especially in my stories because I do have that magical fairytale mentality. Many times I wonder if I should stop spiraling downward into the dangerous, racy, and kind of wicked world of several of my new characters. Maybe I should keep it light and happy and safe. I ride the spiral upward back to a place of rainbows, sunrises, and happy thoughts. Then the shady ones tug at my hands and feet and pull me back under.

I start to see a seesaw effect of light and dark in my story and it makes me squeal with delight. It keeps me on my toes, it keeps me intrigued, it explores very different worlds, reasoning, lifestyles, emotions, and mentalities. If I'm having this much fun writing it then maybe, hopefully, someday readers might have fun seesawing and spiraling through my story too.

What about you? Do you let yourself and your writing spiral out of control every now and then?

Award Slacker

I'm a slacker when it comes to blog awards. This post will prove that because it will be short and sweet and I'll break the award rules by not listing everything I'm supposed to, or nominating a bunch of other people for the awards. Why? Because it's November and I'm doing NaNo. Time is precious, but so are the friends who gave me these awards, so please know I appreciate them very much.

Thank you Sara McClung and Natalie Murphy for The Kreativ Blogger award AND Natalie double dipped me with The Heartfelt Blog Award.









Thank you to Tira for the One Lovely Blog award.
I could pass these awards along to all the blogs I read because they are all fabulous in their own way, but because I'm short on time and have to get back to my WIP, I will live up to my slackerness and tell you to scroll down and check out the bloggers on the right hand side of my page. My top 3 gals are a must follow because they are my beta buddies and the coolest, smartest, most talented trio you'd ever want to meet. Keep scrolling and you'll discover more great writers, bloggers, and even some agents. It's not everyone I follow, but it's a great list!

Okay, back to writing my next novel.

IS BECOMING JANE SUCH A BAD THING?

Yesterday I took a breather from my new WIP and watched BECOMING JANE (a film inspired by the early life of author Jane Austen.) Sigh.

I laughed. I cried. I hit the rewind button several times so I could hear the brilliant dialogue. Most of my tears were because my heart ached for Jane and Tom. Some of my tears were because I worried my life would turn out like Jane's. Not the part where she writes several of the greatest novels in literature. No, that aspect of her life makes her one of my idols. I'm talking about the final scene where she finishes reading Pride and Prejudice, then folds her hands over her novel. The camera zooms in on the fact that she isn't wearing a wedding band.

Yup, that part almost sent me running for the Riesling.

In my Men Of Our Dreams post, I mentioned my fears about my fictitious crushes interfering with my real love life (or lack thereof). Now comes the next big smack in the face. Am I missing out on having an exciting "real life" because I spend hours upon hours alone writing about imaginary people, places, and plots? Perhaps.

However, one of my favorite parts of the movie put that worry into perspective.

In the scene I'm referring to, Lady Gresham (stuffy old broad) is attempting to get Jane and Mr. Wisley to spend quality time together. Suddenly Jane rushes over to a bench--ignoring her unwelcomed guests--and starts making notes in a notebook. I will quote the characters directly because it's much more brilliant that way.

Lady Gresham: What is she doing?
Mr. Wisley: Writing.
Lady Gresham: Can anything be done about it?

We all know the answer. No. Nothing can be done about it. Not if you're a real writer.

Inspiration does not always strike at the most appropriate or convenient times. Writers may have to decline social invitations, lose sleep, skip meals, and miss out on time with friends and family. Sometimes we can't ignore our ideas, or not write them down just because we have company. Or a job. Or chores to do. Many writers give up certainty and security in exchange for a great deal of uncertainty and solitude. Why?

This next quote hit very close to home.

Jane: You live so quietly, and yet your novels are filled with romance, danger, and terror.
Mrs. Radcliffe (the Authoress): Everything my life is not...Of what do you wish to write?
Jane: Of the heart.
Mrs. Radcliffe: Do you know it?
Jane Austen: Not all of it.
Mrs. Radcliffe: In time, you will. But even if that fails, that's what the imagination is for.

Real life beckons, enticing me with possibilities of who I might meet, things I could do, places I should visit. Instead, I quietly curl up on my couch and dive back into creating my latest novel. It may never be published. It may never be read by anyone but a few people close to me, and most likely won't ever make me wealthy or famous. Yet I grab my laptop and happily write anyway. Why? Because I'm a writer, and nothing can be done about it.

I'M IN HEAVEN

I'm in heaven. Again.

I visited once before back in December. I stayed there until April because it was so beautiful, exciting, ever-changing, and addictive. Then I had to leave. Reality called and I had obligations like a writers conference, editing, revisions, networking, beta reading, and a pesky day job.

For months I've been worried I'd never get to visit heaven again. See, I didn't pay attention to how I got there. It wasn't planned, I didn't follow a map, and it wasn't where or what I thought it would be. I stumbled upon it by accident. (If there are such things as accidents--fatalists would say it's all destiny).

My heaven was writing a novel. Sleepless nights, endless cups of coffee, very little food, and being inspired by song lyrics that sent me rushing to my computer to write that next scene. I found joy in creating fantastical puzzle pieces of people, places, events, and conversations--even though I wasn't sure if the pieces would ever fit together.

At the time it wasn't about the end result, it was about getting the next scene, idea, or line out of my head and onto my computer screen. I'd never finish a novel! But gosh, what fun these imaginary people had while keeping me awake at night. Then somehow--maybe by divine or magical intervention--all those puzzle pieces snapped together and told a complete tale.

Surely it was a fluke. Afterward I read many blogs and websites about outlines, plotting tools, character development exercises, etc. If I had read all the "how to" advice before I wrote my first book, I believe it would have never been written. Knowing what I know now, I'd never expect to be able to create a bunch of puzzle pieces and have them mysteriously align again.

Oh, but wait. Here I am writing a new tale, with no outlines or method to my madness. Sparks keep flying and I keep typing while I marvel at how any of this stuff ever finds it's way into my mind. This quote sums it up nicely...

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." E.L. Doctorow

Maybe this story won't ever snap itself into completion like the last one. Maybe it will. Maybe my journey isn't guided by headlights. Instead, it's bursting through the darkness like colorful fireworks. I don't know what color, or shape, or where the next explosion will be. All I know is each one lights up my world, and I am loving every boom, ooh, and ah.

Getting To Know You--And Me

My last post, Got Questions?, gave fellow bloggers the chance to ask me questions. I'm hopped up on antibiotics and cold meds today, so forgive the lack of creativity and/or spelling and grammar errors. My head feels like it's filled with clouds and cobwebs. Okay, on we go...

Melissa: My characters are Elements because of the air, earth, fire, water concepts, but they are not the mythical Elementals like gnomes, undines, etc. More astrological and nature based. They look and act like real human beings, but they're gifted in lots of cool ways.
I am so jealous of your photographic memory. I can barely remember what I ate for dinner last night.

Susan: Come on down! You’re the next contestant on…just kidding. I’m a bit of a game show fan myself. And yes I am currently working on another project about Merfolk--along with some other underwater creatures. I’m very excited about my new aqua crew.

Jessica: I like it here (Florida) very much. I love having the beaches and bay on either side of me. I don’t think I’d ever move back to Baltimore. There is too much of the world I still want to see and experience. My job is okay, but I’d much rather be writing and traveling the world! You should visit Panama sometime. You could practice your Spanish and it’s an amazing country.

Natalie: A wired jaw huh? You’ve given me an idea for my new diet! Dancing. Yes, when I was little I thought for sure I‘d be a professional dancer at Disney World or on Broadway. It never happened, but I did take many years of classes and went to a high school for the arts and majored in dance. The studio where I currently take classes is awesome and many times throughout the year we have guest choreographers from shows like So You Think You Can Dance.

Becca- I’m so sorry I made your Q eyes cry. Yes, I will send you the rest of my story so you can see how it ends.

Patti- Yes, I’ve already written a good bit of book 2 of The Kindrily, and a tiny bit of book 3. I have LOTS of ideas for my star-written crew. That’s so neat about your voice. Ever thought of doing voice overs for movies or cartoons? I always thought that would be a fun career.

Lady Glam: My favorite food? That’s a tough one because I love so many. Chocolate and peanut butter are at the very top of the list and yes, I eat both of them more often than I should. Though I do love cashews too!

Andrew: Welcome! Thanks for saying hello. The Kindrily was definitely an obsession. Eating and sleeping took a back burner while I wrote it. Editing and revising took another few months, but I slowly learned to balance real life with my writing life. There is no rhyme or reason to when and how much I write. When ideas hit me I write. 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, however long it takes. I’m not one of those “sit and write an hour a day” kind of people. I’ve never been that disciplined.
London is one of my top places I’d like to visit. I’m a bit envious that you’ve lived there.

Tira: Your question ties in nicely with my last comment. My favorite place so far is either Hawaii or Panama. I loved them both. Places Id love to go: England, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Spain, Greece, Egypt, the list goes on and on. India is on my list too. I have a dear friend who lives there and I’d love to go visit her. I assume you love it since you’ve been so many times.

Ellie: Ooooh my favorite white wine is Bukettraube, from South Africa. The smell alone is pure heaven. I’m by no means a wine connoisseur, but I ordered this wine at JIKO restaurant in Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge and it is by far the best I’ve ever had. I’d order it by the case if I could afford it.

Sara: Thank you so much for my award!

Georgina: Your question was my favorite! I met my M N M’s (aka my uber talented, beautiful-inside-and-out, extraordinary league of ladies) via the web. Megan started a blog called Word Stringers and invited all writers to join. At first quite a few people did, but over time most members fell away and we realized the four of us were the main people posting, commenting, and supporting each other. I swear I have come to love those gals like they’re my sisters (and I don’t have any sisters so it’s a nice addition to the family!) We still occasionally post to our private blog just for fun, but mainly we email back and forth all day. My “reply all” button has been working overtime since the day we all banned together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sigh. I have heard the rumors about Michael but I choose to ignore them. Plus Reid is still my number 1 pick for future husband. ;)

Thanks to everyone who participated in my little getting to know you session. I loved learning fun facts about all of you.

Got Questions?

These days we can connect with anyone virtually. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. People all over the world can be found and connected with others through a few clicks of the mouse. Folks give updates on anything and everything that happens in their life (or someone else's.) Their thoughts, questions, ponderings, and such, are out there for all the world to see.

It has me wondering, does anyone really care what others have to say? Or do we just enjoy seeing ourselves and our words out there in the universe?

I've met some wonderful friends through blogging. My writing group has become so near and dear to me that I'm not sure what I'd do without those three gals in my life. I've reconnected with old friends on Facebook. I've learned personal tidbits of info on people via Twitter (some I find funny or fascinating--others not so much.)I really enjoyed reading the comments on my last post. I enjoyed getting to know more about all my blogging buddies. I want to know more!

Many times I find myself wanting to ask semi-famous people questions, but I refuse to feel like one of those stalker types, so I only lurk in the shadows of their social networking sites. I am by no means semi-famous, but I do wonder if any of my blog readers have questions they'd like to ask me. Does anyone really give a hoot about me or my life except for the minuscule parts I blog about? Probably not. But maybe. I think it's a fun social experiment to find out.

Usually I hold my cards close to my chest with strangers, but most of you don't feel like strangers to me anymore. So, if you have something you'd like to ask, I'm making myself an open book for a couple days. Ask away. I will answer all questions in my next post. There's only one catch. You have to post a random or interesting fact about yourself. Yup, this is a give and take relationship.

The Men of our Dreams

My mother suggested I read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I started it and she’s right—as always—I love it. Some of the thoughts and quotes in this novel are timeless, but one in particular almost made me drop the book in a moment of self-realization.

“I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true.”

Oh boy. Juliet summed up my dating dilemmas in two sentences. What if I’m turning away perfectly good suitors because they don’t live up to the high standards my fictitious crushes have set? My passion for great love stories will result in me never having my own. What a twisted trick of fate that would be.

The 3 dream men of my life are amazing. They set a very high bar.

1.) REID ROSENTHAL (From The Bachelorette) – He takes the number one spot because he makes me laugh. He’s got a sense of humor that I adore, and a smile that’s contagious. His soulful eyes, family values, and playful (yet kind of shy) demeanor makes me melt. I could list 88 other reasons why I find him gorgeous (inside and out) but then we start crossing into the stalker realm. I’m sure he has enough of those.
2.) MICHAEL BUBLE (Singer)- Another real life guy (kind of). I don’t follow tabloid gossip, so don’t tell me if he’s not as perfect and old-fashionably romantic as I imagine him to be. We have a starry-eyed love affair through his songs (he writes all of them for me you know). I’m sure we’d dance around to Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald music while agreeing that no matter how fast-paced and lacking-in-morals the world is, we will always make time for, and stay true to each other, until the end of time.
3.) SETH MORGAN- Okay, he’s a character in the novel Wicked Lovely, but who cares? He’s a smart, sexy, readaholic who is just the right balance of sensitive and bad ass. He’s faithfully devoted to his girl (which of course is me—not Aislinn) and he stays and fights for love even when times get tough, dangerous, and seemingly impossible. His pet snake freaks me out a bit, but I am willing to accept a few quirks and flaws. That comes with any relationship.

Everyone is flawed. I’m okay with that. I certainly have flaws. My characters are flawed. Boringly perfect is, well, boring. I don’t want perfect. I want perfect for me. The problem is, perfect for me has become a delicate blend of Reid, Michael, and Seth.

Now here’s the problem with my crushes (besides the obvious never-gonna-happen part). They are only perfect in my mind. Reid and Michael may exist in real life BUT their fame has probably inflated their ego to a size so astronomic it would never fit in my quaint little universe. I don’t like cocky, and with that many fans, I’m sure it’s next to impossible to not be cocky. Plus, who knows if Reid was being Real Reid while cameras followed him around 24-7. And Michael is used to red carpets and sold out shows. Would he ever be happy with movie nights on the couch eating ice cream together? Um, no, probably not.

Watching my crushes on TV, listening to them on my Ipod, or reading about them in a book is not helping me achieve my dream of finding my soul mate. It’s not like Seth is going to cross a magical portal and spring to life from the pages of my books.

(I just had flashbacks of that 80’s A-ha video for Take On Me. I LOVED that video as a kid. Wow, maybe my fictitious crush issues run deeper than I thought.)

Anywho, how can three men I've never met leave me all warm and tingly? And why can’t the men I go on dates with ever make me feel that way?

I don’t know how the Guernsey story ends yet. I’m hoping it’s something like... the pen pal letters from Dawsey evolve into love letters, Juliet goes to Gurnsey to meet him in person, their worlds collide; resulting in fireworks, magical kisses, late nights, comfortable silence, lots of laughter, and a happily ever after. Wait. What a coincidence, that’s how I want MY story to unfold too. (Seriously, I’m placing the blame for my fairytale syndrome on A-ha. That’s gotta be where all this stems from.)

Please tell me I’m not alone. Who are your fictitious or never-gonna-happen crushes? And why do you love them so much?

SUB Pants, Query Contest, and...MINE!

ary Kole, Literary Agent, is having a query contest. Oh Mary. What a flood gate you have opened. Should we writers place bets on how many entries she'll receive? 100? 500? 2,000?
Here is a link to the contest. Kidlit Contest
You have until October 31st to enter.

She's also on Twitter (Kid_Lit) if you want to follow her.

I've decided to put on my sassy-uber-brave pants (could be because I've just finished a glass of Riesling) and post my query for all the world to see in her comments section. If you don't own a pair of SUB pants, or if they don't fit quite right today, you can email your entry to her.

I'm not sure why we writers subject ourselves to this kind of stuff. One of my writing partners, Marie Devers (she struts her SUB pants like a rock star) blogged about how great writing contests are. I refer you to her for courage and inspiration. She's a pro. I'm still in training. ;)

And for those of you who don't want to hunt through the comment section to read my query, I shall post it for you here. Feel free to tear it apart, critique it, make suggestions, etc. I've got lots of Riesling left, and together we can handle anything! ;)

Version 18 of The Kindrily query.

Dear Ms. FutureAgentOfMine,

Nathaniel Luna knows the meaning of forever better than anyone. He is part of a kindrily—a supernatural family of kindred souls who retain their memories from previous lives. Before entering this life his soulmate Maryah did the unthinkable. She chose to forget their love, legacy, and centuries of history. She erased. For seventeen years Nathan has been forbidden to see her, but that hasn’t stopped him from watching over her.

After Maryah tragically loses her parents and brother, she can’t stop obsessing about the green-eyed angel who saved her life then vanished. Her constant dreams about him border on stalkerish, but watching him race motorcycles and fly off mountains is her only escape from reality. When Maryah meets her estranged godmother’s son Nathan, she discovers the daredevil from her dreams is real, and definitely NOT an angel.

Maryah is freaked out by the strange and magical things happening to her. Nathan doesn’t know if it’s possible for Maryah to remember who she is—and was. They both make assumptions and keep secrets that rip them further apart. The rest of the kindrily must make Maryah and Nathan believe in the impossible, or they will lose both of them forever.

The Kindrily is a young adult urban fantasy complete at 82,000 words. My story is a blend of family, romance, and magical realism, with dashes of metaphysical and sprinklings of stardust. It has strong series potential but the manuscript tells a complete tale and stands alone.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Karen Amanda Hooper

PS...That bit about it being a series was advice from Mary (and true!) Go check out her other great posts.

Storytellers of the World

Storytellers. Where would the world be without them?
No, seriously. In the rush to speed read through blogs today, take ten seconds to contemplate that question.
Where would the world be without storytellers?

Sad thought isn't it?

Now, if you have a couple more minutes, watch this video. I figured I'd watch one or two minutes then click away. But like any great storyteller, she made me stay until the end. She left me touched, moved, in awe, and teary-eyed. An amazing, hauntingly beautiful story being told in a very unique way.



Her name is Ksenya Simonova. She was on Ukraine's Got Talent. Her canvas is a pane of glass. She used volcanic and sea sand to create a masterpiece tale of those effected by the Great Patriotic War. Love, loss, hope, despair, and how those emotions change us and our lives. You may have recognized some of the music. The voice sound clips were from war news footage.

Proof that in any language, or time period, the beauty and fragility of the human soul is universal.

Here's to the storytellers. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world.

This Is Not For You

This is not for you.

This is not for family, or friends, or writers.
These words are not advice, or wisdom, or to be critiqued in any way.
This is not proper punctuation, or grammar, or sentence structure.
This is expression, emotion, and raw reverie.

This is for an eighteen-year-old man,
driving too fast from a story he knows every side of.
Wishing tonight she’d finally choose love instead of lies.
With eyes like stars and a heart bigger than the moon,
who had no idea his midnight ride would be his last.

This is for a seventeen-year-old girl,
sitting beside a wrecked car on a dark winding road,
whispering I love you and promising it will all be okay.
With no idea she is holding a last chance in her arms,
who thirteen years later, is still waiting to say I’m sorry.

This is for a night that loops repeatedly through my mind.
With his mother’s tears forever falling upon the hospital floor,
while his big brother’s scream eternally echoes down a hallway.
Where thirteen years later, a part of my soul still stands in that ER,
begging him not to go.

This is because it is 10-14.
Every year on this day, I yearn to bake a birthday cake, find the perfect gift,
and attach it to 888 balloons,
so it will float up into Heaven,
and show him that I haven’t forgotten.
That I will never forget.

This is for him. And for me. And for them.

This is for anyone who knows this feeling.
Who is haunted by a number, a date, a song,
or a place and time you can’t reach.
Who incorrectly assumed there would always be tomorrow.
For those who talk to the stars, and pray an angel is listening.

This is for everyone who has ever loved, or lost.
Who has experienced the beauty of this world, or the ugliness.
Who understands the meaning of tragedy,
but hopes to be spared from it, again.
For those who brave the path of healing,
even when it seems an impossible journey.

This is for anyone living their story.
To anyone who believes in happily ever after, or fears a nevermore.

We are countless characters, with infinite backstories,
creating never-ending plots in this book called life.
We are the sum of our parts, our people, and our experiences.
Moments hidden away in almost forgotten pages,
and memories that never leave us,
fluttering like angel wings as the chapters of our life rapidly flip by.

This is not for you, or for him, or for me.
This is for each and every soul who has ever felt sorry, guilty, lost, afraid, abandoned, insecure, unsure, self-doubting, self-loathing, self-sacrificing, misguided, misunderstood, unknown, unseen, unheard, unkind, loved, hated, hurt, confused, or alone.

We are all in this together.
We all have a him, her, them, me, or us.
We all live with a mistake, a regret, a burden, a broken promise, or a shattered heart.
We are all living this life one page at a time,
and we all have a story to share.
This is for the stars, the moon, and the angels.

This is for all of us.

Change of FireHeart

Debbie Ohi aka InkyGirl (or on Twitter InkyElbows)always has great tweets. She tweets links to literary news and happenings, writing advice, etc. Today she tweeted a link to a blog post by Alegra Clarke on Editor Unleashed about NaNoWriMo.

Dang it.

I've been trying not to get sucked in the November madness. November is jam packed with my trip home to Baltimore, NFL football games, fall frolicking at the beach when the weather cools down, possible moving, Thanksgiving, my annual early xmas trip to Disney World with my family. The list goes on and on.

I can't write a 50k word novel in November!
I mean sure I wrote a 150k word novel in a little over two months last winter, but I was insane and out of touch with most of reality for those two months. I don't want to go through that again.

Oh wait. Yes I do.

That "creative state of crazy" was one of the best times of my life. The thought of writing a first draft of a whole new novel in one month excites me. I get to conjure up new people in a new world with new adventures, problems, character flaws, and of course (since it's me writing the story) there will be a whole lot of magic and fantasy.

So, Alegra and Debbie, you have twisted my arm. I have caved. NaNoWriMo here I come.

My username is FireHeart. (My acupuncturist told me I was a "FireHeart" during our last session. Since I was a child I've wondered what my name would be if I was a CareBear, so now I know. FireHeart. I like it. Now I need a cool picture for my belly.)

Are you up for the NaNoWriMo challenege? Have you already registered? If so let me know what your username is so we can all cheer each other on. Ya know like, "CareBear Stare!!!" Sorry, can you tell I loved the CareBears?