Thursday, October 14, 2010

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU

This is not for you.

This is not for family, or friends, or writers.
These words are not advice, or wisdom, or to be critiqued in any way.
This is not proper punctuation, or grammar, or sentence structure.
This is expression, emotion, and raw reverie.

This is for an eighteen-year-old man,
driving too fast from a story he knows every side of.
Wishing tonight she’d finally choose love instead of lies.
With eyes like stars and a heart bigger than the moon,
who had no idea his midnight ride would be his last.

This is for a seventeen-year-old girl,
sitting beside a wrecked car on a dark winding road,
whispering I love you and promising it will all be okay.
With no idea she is holding a last chance in her arms,
who fourteen years later, is still waiting to say I’m sorry.

This is for a night that loops repeatedly through my mind.
With his mother’s tears forever falling upon the hospital floor,
while his big brother’s scream eternally echoes down a hallway.
Where foureen years later, a part of my soul still stands in that ER,
begging him not to go.

This is because it is October 14th.
Every year on this day, I yearn to bake a birthday cake, find the perfect gift,
and attach it to 888 balloons,
so it will float up to Heaven,
and show him that I haven’t forgotten.
That I will never forget.

This is for him. And for me. And for them.

This is for anyone who knows this feeling.
Who is haunted by a number, a date, a song,
or a place and time you can’t reach.
Who incorrectly assumed there would always be tomorrow.
For those who talk to the stars, and pray an angel is listening.

This is for everyone who has ever loved, or lost.
Who has experienced the beauty of this world, or the ugliness.
Who understands the meaning of tragedy,
but hopes to be spared from it--again.
For those who brave the path of healing,
even when it seems an impossible journey.

This is for anyone living their story.
To anyone who believes in happily ever after, or fears a nevermore.

We are countless characters, with infinite backstories,
creating never-ending plots in this book called life.
We are the sum of our parts, our people, and our experiences.
Moments hidden away in almost forgotten pages,
fluttering like angel wings as the chapters of our life rapidly flip by.

This is not for you, or for him, or for me.
This is for each and every soul who has ever felt sorry, guilty, lost, afraid, abandoned, insecure, unsure, self-doubting, self-loathing, self-sacrificing, misguided, misunderstood, unknown, unseen, unheard, unkind, loved, hated, hurt, confused, or alone.

We are all in this together.
We all have a him, her, them, me, or us.
We all live with a mistake, a regret, a burden, a broken promise, or a shattered heart.
We are all living this life one page at a time,
and we all have a story to share.
This is for the stars, the moon, and the angels.

This is for all of us.

30 comments:

  1. OMG this was SO beautiful...
    I'll forever be haunted by a couple of numbers. Thanks for your honesty.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was simply amazing Karen! I will be thinking of those words throughout the day!!! Thank you so much!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You made me cry, this was so painfully beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've written the Gift for him, for you, for me, for everyone. Thank you and many hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. powerful, beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  6. Honest and beautiful is what this is.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Karen, you're amazing and I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking about this--and you--all day today.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tricia took the words from my mouth. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so sorry. *hugs* This is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh my! This is so darn beautiful you made me cry! *bighugs!*

    ReplyDelete
  11. I know this is a tough day for you. Take care of yourself. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Absolutely breathtaking. I will say no more, because words would only spoil the perfection you've created here.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just beautiful. A heart breaking tribute.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This gave me the chills- it's hauntingly beautiful. May you find some peace and comfort today, Karen!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't even need to know what this is about to know that it was BEAUTIFUL.

    Thanks Karen.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stunning. Thank you for this, Karen.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lovely. Just lovely. And sad. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I know what a hard day this is for you. And yet even in your pain, you astound me with your talent. Keep channeling that raw emotion. It makes for powerful, moving words.
    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Brutal and lovely. Glad to have read this.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm so, so sorry.
    Thank you for sharing your moving words, and your deep pain with us. - G

    ReplyDelete
  21. Elegant, lovely, and inspiring Karen. Sorry to be so late to the comments, but I'll be thinking about this--and you--for the rest of the night.

    ReplyDelete
  22. moving. tragic. beautiful.
    Perfect expression in this.
    Look forward. This was a lovely post.

    ReplyDelete
  23. So moving, hon. And so sad. My heart is with you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wow. Just beautiful and so tragic. Your expression through words is so real and honest. I have to admit I got choked up. Loss is such a raw emotion, it's always there on the surface, but I push it down a lot, just cause it's easier. I'll admit you brought that out of me. Thank you for sharing a part of your heart with us. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have chills, and my eyes are glassy.

    You words were so raw and so beautiful and so true.

    Your words touched my soul.

    I will not forget.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am silenced. Wowed. Comforted. Your words ring loud and penetrating in my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I know these feelings. You've spoken them so well. Thank you.
    erica

    ReplyDelete
  28. This was simply beautiful - do you mind if I print it? My aunt and uncle would appreciate your words; this is for them.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I remember the shock of that night, seeing your pain, and feeling so helpless I could not keep my promise to protect you. So loved, so precious to so many, yet only you can tell his story. You have taught me so much, you make me so proud...

    ReplyDelete

Popular Posts

GRASPING AT ETERNITY SOUNDTRACK


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Blog Archive

Write. Read. Imagine. Create. Learn. Love. Live. Repeat.